Homeschooling

I hate that my last post was way too long ago.  Several times over the past several months I have thought up in my mind a post for our blog but it was never actually typed.  Our lives, as most of yours, never really stop. I was asked to be the primary president in our ward and between that and everything else its hard for me to find time to blog.
I  set a goal to blog at least once a week in 2014 because I miss being able to look back and see our life in pictures and words.  One thing that I want to look back and remember my feelings on is that Ron and I decided that I would home school our children.  I guess I can't say that I decided.  Its not something I want to do but the promptings came, and Ron and I spent some time praying about it and after some very obvious things that Heavenly Father put in my path I felt the strongest impression finally that Homeschooling was right for our family.  I feel glimpses of excitement about this as I talk to other moms who home school or Ron who is so incredibly encouraging and supportive but mostly I feel pretty emotional about the whole thing right now.  I hate to admit this but I have found myself asking Heavenly Father why he would ask me to do something like this.  I am not the type of person that can home school my children and not because I feel completely incompetent when it comes to my own education but because I am not organized enough, I am not selfless enough, I spend way to much time doing things that I want to do and I have no clue how to organize my life into someone who plans lessons and sits down and spends regular,structured time teaching my child and up until a few weeks ago I had no clue that there are ten types of homeschooling.

Luckily, as I questioned Heavenly Father I found that he answered my prayer.  While I still have lots of doubts, I have felt moments of the Spirit reassuring me that I'm not alone in this.  That there is purpose not only for my children but for myself.  That homeschooling is not just for my children but to help me become a better mom and a better person, that I can provide the type of learning environment my children need because I know them.  I know that I will have to learn to rely on the Lord more then I ever have, I already can see it as I pray to know his will in this process and for that I am grateful.  I hope that one day I will be able to look back on my feelings about this and think that it was silly that I ever felt this way.